Second Best
by ConfusedColumbia26220
Summary: Post 3x22. After the Diner fallout, Regina leaves, a wide array of emotions drowning her until finally, she finds comfort in the strangest of places. Snow Queen. Oneshot.


**Author's Note: It's my 19****th**** birthday! Show me some love, please. I know the story could go on, but I really only intend for this to be a oneshot. I have too many unfinished multi-chapters and no time to finish them.**

Regina was shocked, then furious, pissed, and hurt, and when she finally finished her rant, she stormed out of Granny's Diner, her heart, or ghost of a heart, or whatever the hell it was, thumping wildly. If it was in there, it sure as hell didn't feel like it anymore. It was probably problematic that she couldn't even _remember _if it resided in her chest or was still in hiding, but at the moment she couldn't care less. She didn't need it anyway. She didn't need anything except to get really, really drunk and forget about everything that just happened and everything that no longer mattered. That and avoid Miss Swan or 'Princess Leia' like the plague…And everyone else for that matter. She was always best on her own.

After a night of some serious testing of her liver, and a practically two day long hangover, the sadness settled in. She'd thought it was bad when she lost her first love, who she'd honestly at the time believed to be her True Love, to death. That was the worst it could get, she believed. Wrong. She was so, so very wrong and naïve with that idea. No, it was far worse to be suddenly slapped in the face with the reality of being the other woman to a married man who had a child. Because from the way both left her behind in favor of the woman from the past, the woman she'd apparently almost killed, would have killed if Miss Swan hadn't intervened with all that time travel nonsense, as if she didn't exist. She doubted man or child even noticed her absence, too distracted by the new arrival.

It was all very ridiculous and it made her sad, because what the actual _fuck?! _Rumpelstiltskin, who had committed horrors not even she could imagine throughout his entire lifetime, he had a faithful wallflower who seemed to exist purely just to please him, even when he didn't want her around. Snow and Charming found each other again and again and again no matter the hell she herself or others had put them through, no matter how distant for how long, both couples came back together like magnets. Even the damn pirate and the swan had some sort of destructive and masochistic magnetism bringing them together over and over again. Why couldn't anyone who'd ever shown interest in Regina be someone who wasn't dead, dead, married, or Sidney? Was the _one person _she didn't return feelings for the only one who never actually hurt her? Had she just made the biggest mistake of her life only using him like he was a puppet on strings, then locking him away, either in a mirror or in asylum, when she no longer had use of him instead of just acting like a normal human being and giving him a chance? Was she being ripped away from and disallowed happiness because she was too picky about who gave it to her?

By the end of the week, Regina was feeling a surge of overwhelming maternity and she had no idea what to do with it. She just had this deep, out of the blue need to be with a child. There was Henry, but he was practically a teenager, too old for her sudden need. Roland would've been perfect, but at the moment seeing him would only be inappropriate and painful, so that was absolutely out of the question. That was just about the entire population of the children she knew, and she wasn't about to just go to the park and attempt to go near other people's children. Mayor or not, Queen or not, any parent would jump down her throat and she wouldn't blame them. That was creepy.

But then Regina remembered. There was a new addition to the Charming family. One who'd had a safe birth majorly in part to none other than herself. She'd protected that baby from her sister as fiercely as she had Henry. The two idiots had to give her credit for that.

So Regina found herself knocking at the Charmings' door, once she pleasantly noted that yellow death trap of a car was nowhere to be seen.

It was opened to reveal a confused and slightly terrified looking Snow. "Uh, Regina…what are-what are you doing here?"

Regina managed a short laugh at her wide-eyed stuttering, always resembling a deer caught in headlights. "Relax, I'm not the big bad wolf. I believe that title belongs to Red, your best friend or whatever." She wormed her way past her and into the apartment sized house, used to striding in and out whenever she pleased because of the way they all stayed close together during the battle against Zelena and the strategizing that went into it.

"But you _are _a scorned woman," Snow pointed out, closing the door behind her. "And I know how scary you are when you fit that description."

Regina wasn't listening though, her eyes on the sleeping child in the crib, quietly approaching. "What's his name?" If you ignored who he was related to, he was quite beautiful.

"It's…we named him Neal."

Regina nodded. It was better than Charlie or Fabio or something equally ridiculous. That man really got the short end of the stick in all the mess. Being Rumple's son, having that psycho fake fiancé from hell, and being stuck on past memories of love. He didn't need to go out the way he did, it wasn't fair. Regina was just grateful Henry hadn't had his memories in tact just yet to feel the full weight of the loss. She knew how losing someone twice felt. It happened with Daniel and it happened with her mother. She was glad he was spared that pain, or at least its full affects. By the time Henry did regain his memories, it was long enough after the fact that he was reasonably okay with it. He was such a strong boy, far better at accepting losses than she was.

"…Regina?" Snow repeated, right at Regina's side now. She was slightly worried at how deeply lost in thought Regina appeared to be while so close to her child. Though seeing the look on her face told Snow she had no reason to worry, at least not in the original form it was taking. Regina blinked, visibly tearing herself from whatever she was thinking to look at her as Snow asked, "Do you…want to hold him?"

Regina felt a weight lift off her shoulders, because yes, she very much did, and Snow just saved her from the awkward task of asking herself. She nodded. "Yes, I feel…uncomfortably motherly right now. Henry's barely a child anymore and –" She was cut off by Snow physically moving her arms as she passed Neal into them, as if she didn't know how to hold a baby properly.

"I suppose it's only fair," Snow spoke. "I did get to hold Henry shortly after you adopted him. And you did basically keep us all alive through the labor and birth."

Regina was about to reply when baby Neal's eyes opened, those bright blue eyes only a baby could have looking right into her brown ones and making her melt. Pain? What was pain? Pain didn't exist. "Hello, there," she cooed. He actually snuggled into her, as if he actually wanted to be held by her, instead of protesting as she was prepared to expect. Henry had fought her every step of the way, she hadn't expected this to be very different.

"He likes you," Snow observed softly. Regina wasn't the only one who noticed the vast difference between Neal's reaction at being held by her and Henry's when he was a baby. "You have experience now…" she murmured her thoughts aloud, not specifically talking to her. "More than David seems to have."

"What was that?" Regina was still enraptured by the tiny being in her arms, but her ears still caught snippets of Snow's murmurings.

"Oh! Nothing." Realizing she'd spoken out loud, Snow's face colored deep red. "David just…hasn't exactly…been able to keep him as calm as you're doing now. You're actually kind of doing a better job at it than me, too," she admitted.

Regina gasped in mock shock. "My ears must not be working correctly. Me? Evil Queen Regina, better than the always for the greater good Princess Snow White and shepherd Prince Charming at anything?" She teased with a scoff, though Snow caught the traces of self deprecation in her voice.

"You're not the Evil Queen anymore," Snow stated honestly, placing a careful and comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah?" Regina asked, disbelief in her tone. "Then why do people still run from me?" Regina finally moved her eyes from Neal, snapping them up to look piercingly into Snow's eyes. "Why?" her voice cracked. "Why can't I just be happy?" her tone was broken. The high she felt when looking in Neal's eyes had gone away. "You. You told me I could be! Tinkerbelle told me I _would _be!" Tears finally tore from her eyes.

"Regina…" Snow whispered. "None of us knew." Snow wrapped her arms around her, sandwiching Neal between them, knowing Regina wouldn't struggle against it and fight her while holding a baby.

"That's not the point!" Regina snapped. "I'm so damn tired of always ever only being second best in everything!" A sob cut through her throat. "It's always only ever been second best," she whispered.

"You were Queen," Snow tried.

Regina scoffed. "Only through Regency did I gain ultimate rule."

"…You saved my life. Before you tried to end it time and time again, you saved it first. And I have no doubt you saved Neal's."

"That wasn't me," Regina stated blandly.

She probably shouldn't have, but Snow laughed. "Then who was it?" It didn't even strike her how intimate it would look to a passerby as she backed away just enough to take Regina's face in her hands, thumbs stroking away the tears. "If not you, who else would it be?"

"That person still believed happiness was in the cards for them. That person believed good karma generates good karma, not punishment, which is exactly what she got."

"Regina…" Snow managed to catch her eyes. "You still have Henry."

"No, I don't!" Regina choked out heatedly. "I have…I have Henry 2.0! He has two lives in his head just like the rest of us, only one of those never happened! He can so very easily convince himself it was the life with me that was fake. Emma has always been the favorite."

Snow took in a breath to gather herself. It was time to come clean, for better or worse. "You were the most beautiful woman I'd ever met, Regina, when you pulled me off that horse. In that moment I thought it must be hero worship, with the adrenaline and everything else, but… it lingered. It lingered and it lingered, deepened, and as I grew up it lingered and deepened some more. It was hardly proper, and I kept it to myself all those years, and then when Daddy died, I saw silver lining. His death made you a widow, which meant I could finally – but then you sent the Huntsman after my heart. So I was on the run after that and eventually met Charming, and everything happened, but even with True Love as our bind, he was always only ever second best to me. He was the safer option. The only option, at the time. But lately… Neal, I want him, I wanted him for quite a while, but he's also a test. The things in Neverland, Charming was poisoned and dying for however long and I didn't know about it until the last minute. Charming is failing this test, Regina. True Love will always bind us, but that doesn't mean I have to be imprisoned by it."

Regina's eyes went wide as she finally realized what Snow was saying. "I swear, if this is one of your games, I am going to _kill – _"

The rest of Regina's words were muffled when Snow covered her lips with her own as she had wanted to do for ages. Regina wasn't sure what she was more surprised by – the fact that Snow was kissing her, or that she was responding to it. Not to mention Neal was still perfectly content in her arms, being sandwiched between the two of them as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Do you believe me now?" Snow whispered as the kiss broke.

"I'm…confused," Regina stated. "If you've felt that way, why did you practically push me to Robin."

"I don't recall naming names."

"But you weren't blind. You knew who I'd go to."

"I wanted you to be happy. I've always wanted you to be happy. Even as I was running, when we fought I always fought my hardest so when you had your victories, you would be able to pride yourself in earning them. You might have been seriously trying to kill me, but I never wanted you dead. I'm sure the execution proved that."

"You tricked me into that."

"I tested you. I truly did hope you would pass it. I wanted the fighting to stop. But when you didn't pass the test, Charming was so angry I had no choice but to go through with it until the very last moment. Stopping those arrows wasn't a last minute decision; I was never going to watch you die. I just had to let Charming think I was."

"Just as I had to let everyone think I had no moral regrets in that moment. It might not have been the best appropriate, but what I believed to be the last moments of my life, I suddenly thought if Daniel could see me in that moment, he would hate me. And I regretted it all."

"I'm still _so _incredibly sorry about what happened, I was just a child, I didn't know any better. I saw you getting trapped and I wanted to help free you but only managed to trap you more. I never really realized until you sent the Huntsman after me that I realized you hadn't been happy all those years. You were so good at faking it, and I wanted to believe the pretty lie. But now I don't want it to be a lie. I want it to be real."

Snow leaned in to kiss her again but Regina stepped out of reach. "What about Charming? Emma? I really _really _do not want to be around her for a while. And I still feel like an 'other woman', although technically I'm not."

"As far as I know, David Nolan remains legally as Kathryn Nolan's husband, as far as this world goes. Even though Kathryn, or Abigail, left, I don't think there was ever a divorce."

"I'm not sure I understand your point with that technicality."

"We're not in the Enchanted Forest, David never divorced Kathryn, we're technically not married here, so I'm technically single. I can be officially single when I talk to Charming."

"Then what? Kick him out?"

"He doesn't have nowhere to go, and it's not like I'm moving anywhere right now. I won't stop him from seeing Neal either. Even if you're not happy with her right now, you and Emma manage to keep a balance with Henry. Charming and I can do the same."

"Except you have him wrapped around your finger and you're about to essentially tear his heart out."

"Then you shall be godmother to Neal, and if he isn't thinking clearly enough to focus on being civil and developing a schedule between us, Neal will be out of the line of fire."

Regina looked down at Neal and pressed a kiss to his tiny forehead. "Don't make promises you won't keep, Snow."

"Even before you came over, before what happened at the Diner happened…I was going to name you godmother anyway. You protected him the same as you do Henry, and that's exactly what godparents do. Protect children as fiercely as if they were their own. Blood or not, Henry is yours, Neal can be too, at least partially."

"Is there a godfather?" Regina asked curiously.

"Archie," Snow answered.

Regina laughed. "I'm alright with that. He encouraged me to get Henry anyway, and was a good therapist to him. It's good to have another person to fall back on if I get sucked into this drama, too. Charming being Charming, I'll probably be dragged into it by my hair."

"I'll kick him in the balls if he touches you."

Regina laughed and smiled. "I should let him. Just to see that."

Snow stepped closer to her once more. "Can I kiss you now?" she whispered.

Regina closed the distance, pressing their lips together. Suddenly she felt something surge through her that was a little like happiness.


End file.
